sunday 24/08/08 (women want)

What do women want? many men have wondered. Who knows. But figuring out what women want in men is crucial to becoming effective not only in dealing with women, but developing the kind of Dating Life you really want.

So what do women want from men? What traits do they look for? And why -- what's the reason behind it?

There are three specific traits. And naturally there are also three corresponding reasons why women want these traits in men.

Let's take some time to explore them in detail...

Ultimately, what women want in men is to have their needs and desires fulfilled. To understand what traits women look for in men, we have to understand just what those needs and desires are...

... and then we can make the connections to these character traits, and how you can develop them in yourself.

Need #1: Security. Women want to feel safe. In today's civilized world however, safety isn't really that big of an issue anymore.

Need #2: Pleasure. Women want to feel pure sensual stimulation. What do men talk about? Business, sports, and women. But what do women talk about? Sex, men, sex, relationships, and sex -- did I mention sex?

Need #3: Adventure Women want to feel excitement and anticipation. They have a strong desire to trust in someone who will lead them into emotionally charged experiences that they wouldn't have the courage to go alone.

saturday 23/08/08 (lil Black book)

Lately i havent been going out much, yeah thats
one of the minuses of running your own biz, anyways
i come across a ad in the paper about The Black
Book Of Success Seminar...and i just had to go listen,
maybe network with other startups...

Anyways i get there and we're like 700 individuals there.
i start trying to make contacts consiously checking
if i could see a competitor...hopefully i didnt meet anyone...

the various talks, were invigorating...
mrs Johnson really tried in making this stuff free...but off
course i knew it wasnt free...it was just running on "freemium"
there were really 2 speakers...
niyi spoke about his business, the challenges he encountered
and how he was able to solve them...Niyi is a freaking salesman,
he ought to be cause he sells cars...lol
he really made everyone feel good about starting a business
The next speaker was really more practical, he literally burst alot
of bubbles...lol

anyways, the only thing i took away from the seminar was that...
in nigeria, everyone's always in the process of starting a business...
less than 10% really hard a workable plan...
only a few have funds...

Thursday 21/08/08 (ugly duckling)

i have a "ugly duckling theory" and you dont have
to subscribe to it...in a group of ladies, lets say
at the club, a party, whereever...there's going to
be one thats a 3 while there's going to be a 10...i.e
one will look drab while one's going to look outstanding
the others will be in between, right...

3 consciously knows she's 3, while 10 also knows...but the
others dont know where they fall in between...the thing is,
in this group, who do you think will get asked out the most?
most of you would have said,the 10 right?...
you're all wrong...lol
3 gets asked out the most...
thats the "ugly duckling theory"

to prove it ehn, you try it yourself...in the next group of ladies
you meet, which of them would you want to hit on....
i'm preety sure a 3,is the one u think you stand a chance with...

thing is, she gets asked out so often that it gets into her head,
she starts to form, what she doesnt know is that most guys really
want a 10 but dont have the balls to talk to her, so in effect we
manage the 3...lol

Guys only need to realise that if you go for the 10, dont make all
those remarks o, as in really go for her intelligiently, you'll get
her...because guys really dont ask her out...no they're scared...
they go for 3...lol

go for 10,when you get her...all her friends that fall in between
want a piece of the action too, yeah cause they'll be thinking that
if you got 10, you must have done something right...

so my guy, shoot for a 10, at most you'll get the chicks in between
never go for a 3,well unless you have no balls...

wednesday 20-08-08 (10 seconds)

it takes just 10 seconds...approximately 10 seconds to break a world record...
it takes just 10 seconds...approximately 10 seconds to be the fastest man on earth...
it takes just 10 seconds...appoximately 10 seconds to make a first impression
it takes just 10 seconds...approximately 10 seconds to change my mind
it takes just 10 seconds...approximately 10 seconds to decide if i want you or not
it takes just 10 seconds...approximately 10 seconds to your 1st smile at me
it takes just 10 seconds...approximately 10 seconds to walk to you (well, i think...lol)
it takes just 10 seconds...approximately 10 seconds to say my piece (well u've prolly heard all my lines before...lol)
it takes just 10 seconds...approximately 10 seconds to then hear you say no and burst my bubble...lol

Dedicated to the one, who said NO

friday 15-08-08 (repeat)

in the past few days, i have gotten lots of repeat
customers using my services...i keep wondering if
its good for business...anyways thats what you usually
get for running a free service shey...lol

wats surprising the most is that even though i request
for just your AGE,SEX and LOCATION, i get texts that include
tribe, religion etc...which got me asking whats tribe
and religion got to do with it...
why cant we just go out there, start a relationship with
any individual,regardless of tribe (we're one nigeria, shey)
and religion (what happened to the "we serve the same God mantra)

anyways...i'd like users to strictly stick to the script...just
your AGE,SEX and LOCATION...

thurs 14/8/2008 (permutations)

stop doing the f..king permutations in your head...
when it comes to meeting women, you cant predict
all the scenarios...your head will just explode...
all you can do is have a win-win mentality and
attitude, so you are always prepared for any eventuality

also you've got to make your decision within 10 seconds
and stick to it,dont go "i'll get the next opportunity",
you wouldnt,well not this way anyways...

okay okay, you still didnt have the balls to say something
dont put yourself down cause you didnt...put your head up
high and walk away...dont beat yourself up...yeah yeah,
you didnt win this time...they'll be another girl, another time...
dont just make it an habit....
cause the girl of your dreams might just walk away again...
cause you were doing those f..king permutations in your head again...lol

wednesday 13th 08 2008 (shoot)

Guys out there, i got one small advise for you...
Go for the one that's prolly out of reach...Heard
that thing about shooting for the moon and landing
among the stars...yes go for it...go for her

The one that's taller than you,
the one that looks smarter,
the one that steals the spotlight,
the one thats defiantely richer,

and please dont treat her like a demi-god...in other
words, dont suck up to her....thats how she's been
treated all day and frankly she's been waiting for you,
someone confident enough to blow her off her feet...

Just be original, cause even being a photocopy is not
easy...lol

Worst case scenerio,if she blows you off, i'm betting
one of her friends would be captivated by this guy thats
so unlike the others...

tuesday august 11 08 (university)

Yeah i also had this idea for selling university
merchandise...you know...
all this while, you see all those Harvard and
Cambridge University insigned T-Shirts...but
never one that has Unilag or University of Ibadan
or something....
I havent seen any o...and if you have, please contact me...
i wouldnt mind rocking a University of Ibadan Blazer...

anyways...as an Ijebu Boi, i'm looking at this scarcity
and i'm seeing money to be made...lots of money...
sha, i organise a meet with my lawyer cause i'm guessing
that if i want to go into this business, they'll surely
be copyright and legal issues shey?...
anyways, talking to my lawyer, he says we'll find a legal
loophole and work around it...cause i'm not thinking of
involving the schools at all...

then i speak to this one blogger based in the uk...you know
yoursef o...lol
she's a lawyer too...she ;literally burst my bubble...
she goes preaching its morally wrong...so and so...
sha,since i was also a bit doubtful already...i changed my mind...

the best i could do...(or you, if u are interested) is involve
the schools and go the really legal route...

thats ow my escort business idea went too...(i just aint morally bankrupt...lol

monday 10/aug/08 (crazy)

had this crazy idea yesterday....yeah i have a
lot of them...

okay, i learnt yesterday that, it costs far more
to fuel a car than to actually buy it....

i've been reading a lot of books recently just finished
"The Long Tail" by Chris Anderson and he's blog...
and i'm all for free stuff....i run a free mobile
dating service by the way...lol
ok, i had this idea, why not make cars free...
yes,car makers and dealers shouldnt sell cars to
customers, but give it out...yes, you heard me,
give it out...

how would they make money you ask,i feel that
car makers should work in conjunction with our
petroleum dealers...the petroleum marketer
just charges more at the petrol station...or some
superfuel for this free cars or somethings....

that way i'm guessing i'll get a car real easy...lol
instead of forking out a lot of money for my dream car...lol

Thursday 07+08+08 (stAnd oUt)

Go as a pilgrim and seek out danger
Far from comfort and the well lit-avenues of life.
Pit your very soul against the unknown
And seek stimulation in the company of the brave.
Experience cold and hunger, heat and thirst
And survive to see another challenge and another dawn.
Only then will you be at peace with yourself
And able to know and to say:
“I looked down on the farthest side of the mountain
And, fulfilled and understanding all, I am truly content
That I lived a full life
And one that was of my own choice”.


I got this quote from a book a long time ago, and its one of the quotes that drives me ....hope it does for u too

REally Standout
http://18andabove.blogspot.com/2008/01/sunday-6th-jan-08.html

Wednesday 6th of August 2008 (Misconceptions)

Tell me if you agree with any of these statements about men:

-Men like a challenge. They like the chase. If you're too "easy" or approachable, they'll get bored or lose interest.

-Men are dominant in relationships and women therefore are unable to express
themselves.

-Men cheat and are incapable of being monogamous.

-Men would secretly love to date and sleep with different women the rest of their life rather than just have to stay with one serious committed relationship.

-Men just want to have fun and "freedom" and no responsibility.

Did you find yourself nodding at any of these?

Unfortunately you’re wrong….

TRUTH #1: Men Don't Need To Chase

It's been said many times by many people that men need to be made to chase a woman in order to want her and commit wholeheartedly.

Not true.

If you are not running, why do I need to chase you?

Rather than wanting to "chase" a woman, men are humans first.

I want and need to feel a deep, emotional level of attraction for a woman if i want you in my life.

"Physical Attraction" i can feel for any chick who walks by is not enough, and will never be enough to make me want something more than a casual fling.
and i get easily "bored" and lazy about a relationship or any kind of commitment if I’m not feeling this Emotional Attraction for you.

Emotional attraction goes way beyond what a babe looks like, what she says or how successful she is.

If i sense that a woman knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it, and that
she has certain "standards" of what she will or won't put up with from a man, then i will feel incredibly drawn to her.

It has nothing to do with playing GAMES or pretending to be "hard to get."
If you continue to do that you miss all the good guys….like me…lol

If you think that men just want to "chase" a woman and that acting or being "unavailable" is a turn-on for him, then I have to tell you right now, you're not going to get far with a man.

Cause if the guy’s like me, I spend my money, time and resources “chasing” you, when I get you what do you think will happen? I’ll have just have sex with you and most definitely break your heart…


TRUTH #2: Men Feel Emotions Just Like Women

Believe it not, men are pretty sensitive….yes I cry too…lol

It's just how we handle our feelings that makes us hard to connect with about it, and
hard to understand -

Men have a hard time dealing with strong emotions from women. Why do you think we try to leave the room during arguments…lol

in a recent groundbreaking study of how couples interact when in conflict, it was discovered that men often LOOK detached or withdrawn because we feel intensely STRESSED by the argument.

It's not that we're more "in control."

On the contrary - we feel LESS in control.

So we withdraw in order to try and cope.


TRUTH #3: Men Want Relationships

Not all men love the single life of Parties, Girls , Sex…
Men want to be in a relationship, and they have a strong desire to feel recognized as a great partner by their women.

Have you ever accused a man of being "not ready" for a relationship?

Here's a mind-blowing statistic: WOMEN (not men) break off relationships or file for divorce 70% of the time.

If that surprises you, you may also be surprised to know that a man enjoys being in
committed, loving relationships as much as a woman does.

AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T FEEL HARD TO HIM.

If you give a man the impression that he can't please you no matter WHAT he does, or that everything he does is pointless because he can'tdo ANYTHING right, then guess what?

He's going to wonder if he's the right partnerfor you, and he's going to begin to doubt whether or not he should even continue the relationship.

Maybe you're saying, "but I don't do that!"

It's true. You may not even be aware that you're doing this.

But there are certain words and phrases thatcommunicate this to a man whether you're aware of it or not.

Instead, when you show a man that you trust him to be a good partner to you, you will actually inspire him and trigger his devotion and attraction for you.


More Misconceptions
http://18andabove.blogspot.com/2008/03/facinating-twin-factsalice-payne.html

Thursday 310708 Conversations with a babe (Naija Babe)

My fourth Conversations with a babe features Naijababe...
Very Insightful...
Make una sit down with pen and paper...yes u've got to keep notes...

For Conversation 1:
Conversations with a Babe

For Conversation 2:
conversations with a babe 2 (zephi)


For Conversations Three:
Conversations With A Babe 3 (OK)


18andabove: so naija babe....why use that name?
NB: No Idea....I just chose it randomly!

18andabove: why do you blog?
NB: I read a few blogs, and seeing as I hardly talk to people about stuff, I thought It'd be a good option for me. Here people only judge you by what they know unlike out there where people's judgements about you are infiltrated with things they see and hear about you, that they choose to misconstrue and thus make wrong judgements about you.

18andabove: what motivates you to want to get that message out?
NB: Hmmm...no idea....I guess its something I just do

18andabove: Okay...i personally think "LOVE" is overrated, what do you think abt that...
NB: Naa, I dont think Love is overrated, I just think its a matter of good things coming to those who wait.

18andabove: I have a view that most of the women in blogville are like radio station presenters...good voices but not really fine...well with exceptions...wld u be one?
NB: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder..some voices take your breath away but then the faces bring you back, but some, once you are taken away..the looks dont matter. Am I an exception? I believe so, but I'll leave that to the person judging.

18andabove: What are your views about sex before marriage?
NB: I believe in no sex before marriage, but then again, circumstances might change...if the marriage is looking like a sure deal, then why not?

18andabove: and whats the worst pickup line you heard in a while?....lol
NB: Arrogant as it may sound, I havent had pick up lines used on me....or they were just too sublte for me to notice.

18andabove: you never noticed them use pickup lines, they must be really suave...
NB: would want to keep your maiden name even after getting married?
Yes I'd love to kep my maiden name....lol I'll then become the double barreled 'Mrs'

18andabove: ever used a dating service b4?
NB: Nope, never used a dating site

18andabove: so is it safe to say...u date guys according to your mood?
NB: No it is not safe to say that o.

18andabove: then are u single?
NB: Yes I am..

18andabove: if yes, why?
NB: Because there isnt any one out there. Everyone seems to have this pre requisites thing, honestly I dont have one. I guess its just a matter of I see something in someone that even though all others may have it, it is complemented with smething else that thus makes him unique.If I had a list of criteria...no one would be suitable for me.

18andabove: wat do u think i shd do?
18andabove: theres this chick really tripping for me but doent no ow to tell me...
NB: How can you tell that she is till tripping for you?

18andabove: and she has a 8yr old son
NB: Right?

18andabove: u see we used to date....b4 she became pregnant years ago...
NB: So did she get pregnant for someone else whilst you guys were dating?

18andabove: Yeah and I’m sure he isn’t mine cause I didn’t do it then…lol …I was too naïve.Anyways,how do i tell her or show her that am not interested
NB: Can I ask why you’re not interested? Is it that you’ve moved on for other reasons or because she has a child.

18andabove:wld u date someone that has a 8 yr old son?
NB: Well it depends. I cant say its easy, but if its worth my while, then why not. However selfish of me, I think I can only go into it if the child’s mother isn’t in the picture anymore. If she is, even if she is married to another person, I still think too many people in the circle causes too many issues.

18andabove: ow do I tell a gal off?
NB: Lol…this is a funny one. Depends on if she’s a biatch…If she is…put her in her place…no story.

18andabove: one of u called me a small boy yesterday when i said i wanted to ask her out
NB: Erm ask who out?

18andabove: One Chick like that… so how do u change that impression when thats already ow she thinks?
NB: When someone thinks you are a small boy? Well again, it depends on where she sees you as a small boy. Some girls think its cos you still hop the train and not have a ride that makes you a small boy. Some others think its on maturity level. If it’s the former, please, jabo the babe sharpish, and if it’s the latter, then you might wanna work on that.

18andabove: ok...ve u called someone a small boy b4? or looked at them that way?
NB: Yeah, quite a lot. Usually its to do with their way of thinking…maturity on their end must have been veryyy low.

18andabove: BUT ITS REALLY NOT EASY FOR US WORKING CLASS TO MEET SOMEONE ABI?
NB: Who says?

18andabove: APART FROM WEDDINGS WHERE IS IT SURE BANKER THAT U CAN GET A SINGLE BABE.
NB: I guess other gatherings. BBQ’s, church, mosque, the gym…you never know!

18andabove: so apart from watching tv, what does a girl...sorry lady like u do, when u come back from work.
NB: I read lightly, eat and SLEEP!

18andabove: i thought u'd say "start getting ready for a date"
NB: Lol…how I wish.

18andabove: so lets say u were going for one, what preparations wld u make?
NB: Shower, get dressed and go. What else?

18andabove: ok...so wld u want to go where he likes, or where u like?
NB: I hardly go out, so I would be crap at choosing a place, so I’d leave it to him.

18andabove: where wld ur own ideal location be?
NB: No idea! If its dinner, then obviously a nice restaurant.

18andabove: ok..so he's car,a cab,a bus or u guys trek...lol
NB: Honestly, I guess the ‘ideal’ girl’s date is he either has a car or you guys take a cab. I won’t do bus, sorry. But I would love to walk…I think its nice.

18andabove: emm...okay so in what direction wld u want the conversation to go...when u guys are talking.
NB: Anywhere, we start with the obvious, work, life, maybe relationships…anything goes

18andabove: SO WHAT WLD BE A CONVERSATION KILLER
NB: I think talking about your ex, especially if you guys don’t know each other that well.

18andabove: SO WLD A KISS ON THE 1ST NIGHT BE IN ORDER?
NB: Once again, depends on how long you’ve known each other. If you’ve been talking for quite a while and the date was just something to make it official then, why not, otherwise, I don’t think its in order.

18andabove: OKAY SO IF HE MADE AN ATTEMPT,HE'D PROBABLY GET A SLAP...LOL
NB: Ah ah, unless you never want to see him again. If you do, then you turn him down nicely.

18andabove: OK...BUT YOU'LL BE EXPECTING HIS CALL AFTER THE DATE ABI?
NB: Yeah! Big time.

18andabove: SO WHEN IS THE CALLING TO EARLY OR TOO LATE...
NB: Too early would be when he gets back into his car, and too late would probably be if I’m getting ready for work the next morning.

18andabove: WLD U EVER CALL A GUY U LIKE AS IN AFTER THE DATE?
NB: Yeah.

18andabove: I THOUGHT IF HE WAS INTERESTED IN A FOLLOW UP DATE HE'D CALL?
NB: Well you can clarify that when you call abi? Whats the point of waiting to find out.

18andabove: come to think of it...what do u look out for when a guy approaches u...
NB: Lol…you don’t prememditate those kind of things, do you?

18andabove: so if its a short person like me...u'll just give me ur best snubish look...lol
NB: Hehe…no we’d be friends in a way that I’d hint I don’t want anything more…LOL.. thats jokes though. but how short are you?

18andabove: I’m 5 7 ok, and don’t go rubbing it in…lol ...wld u go out on a date with anyone that asks u?
NB: Ermm no.

18andabove: why?
NB: If I don’t feel like it or if I know there is no point wasting my time.

18andabove: the question wld be..u're looking at this tall,dark and handsome guy...speaking good english....comfortable...
18andabove: he asks u for a date & u say no....somethings definately wrong...lol
NB: Yes, talk dark, handsome guy can be STUPID too.

18andabove: lol...so like ow many guys ask u out everyday...dont exagerate o...
NB: Everyday? Approximately zero.

18andabove: okay lets say a week...
NB: Same as above.

18andabove: That’s serious o…lol
18andabove: did u know that...the average single person goes on 22 dates, has 3 one-night-stands and three serious relationships before "settling down with The One."
NB: Lol, none of those have applied to me yet….when it does, I’ll let you know.

18andabove: wld u ask someone to marry u...
NB: Hmmm that’s a bit tricky o! I think it’s the other way round, and I think I’d leave it that way.

18andabove: that wld be too much abi...lol
18andabove: the height of desperation.
NB: Ermmm yeah…something like that.

18andabove: whats the significance of a kiss to u...?
NB: Ermmm, no clue!

18andabove: which is more intimate...the kiss or the other thing...lol
NB: See above…lol
I’m being serious o!

18andabove: NB…hey…you’re scaring me…lol ,well thats u or most women...
NB: I think that’s just me

18andabove: wld u say thats it for most women too...
NB: nope

18andabove: so what 1st comes to ur mind when a guy invites u to his place
NB: Hehe…I’ve been warned…I’d rather invite him to mine. Even if in both cases, we’d still be alone. Theres still some sort of security and regard for me, when we’re at mine.

18andabove: Does the age factor play a role in your relationship?
NB: Well, it bothers me, I wont lie.

18andabove: How do you know your guy loves you?
NB: He is willing to apologise when he’s wrong and he tells me when he’s upset about something, rather than keep a grudge. Cos if he keeps a grudge, that means he’s not talking to me, and if he’s not talking to me, then he doesn’t miss me…need I say more?

18andabove: Could you attend you Ex-boyfriend wedding?
NB: Because why?

18andabove: Is it possible to love two guys?
NB: Hmmm, I don’t think so

18andabove: Wld you date a guy shorter than you?
NB: Depends on how short. One inch, not bad…when its reaching 5 or 6, then erm..

18andabove: What about one with a different religion?
NB: Not really

18andabove: What about one in a different tribe?
NB: Nope. I can deal with hausa…def not ibo tho

18andabove: NB, that’s abt it….thanks so much for your time…and we’ll definitely be doing this again…you said you were single right….lol….

18andabove: you know who to call when you’re lonely and in need of some hmmm TLC…lol..