Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Do You End Up As "The Friend?"

Does this situation sound familiar to you?

You meet a girl, and she's really great.
You get to know her, hang out with her,
and try and figure out the right time
to tell her how you feel.

Finally, you work up the courage to do so,
and she responds:

"I like you, but let's just be friends."


Why does this happen? Why does the girl
decide you're not "boyfriend material?"

Well, there are a couple of reasons why
this happens.

The first of which is that you did not set
the stage properly when you first met the

Instead of flirting and showing interest
in her, you decided to "play it safe" and
"fly under the radar" by pretending you
weren't interested in her so you wouldn't
scare her off.

Lack of any sexual tension will result in
the girl pegging you as a "friend" and
nothing more.

The second is that you most likely adopt
the friend role yourself!

You do things a friend would do - listen
to her problems, be the shoulder to cry
on, be there to support her when she needs

And on, and on, and on.

And guess what? Because of this, she gets
USED to you being this way!

And people do not like to change things.
So when you want to become more than just
a friend, she's afraid to allow that to


Well, the first reason is that it's to her
benefit to do so. She gets all she needs
without having to put up with "relationship"

She might also be afraid that if she allows
things to change, she might LOSE YOU as a
friend, so she decides to play it safe.

Finally, the biggest reason a guy gets stuck
in the friend zone is because the girl thinks
he's cool, but there's no ATTRACTION there.

There's no desire. No magnetism. No sexual

So from the girl's point of view, there's no
REASON to change things!

But you have to understand - attraction is
something that can be created. If you have
not attracted the girl, then you're dooming
yourself to just being a friend.


If you want to make sure you don't get stuck
as the friend, you need to do three things...

1. Be honest about your intentions from the

2. Adopt the "boyfriend" role, not the "friend"

3. Create attraction.

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  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Lmao! thing is attimes girls just do certain things just becos......not thinkin about a relationship n sturvz.....but guys usually read the lines backwards

  3. Ha ha!

    -Funny how Naijaryders wasn't an option in your 'hook up' poll.

  4. @ flygirlbidiish...maam i believe any guy thats interested in you...wants to be more than a friend...well he usually doesnt say that much,

    @ la reine....i'll look out for to check it out