Most guys are either too nervous or too fake when approaching ladies. But states have significant drawbacks. The only way to defeat all those problems and have success every time is to act ina natural way. Easier said than done... but, using some of the skills I can teach you, perfectly doable.
In the Wish-I-Forgot mists of time...
I want you to take a moment and step into that time machine we call memory, and travel back to the first time you approached a girl.
Or the first time you talked to a girl with romantic intent - maybe calling her off your junior high phone list, whatever.
Now, fine-tune that machine and don't glaze over a thing - get deeper than the facts and acts, examine the emotions and colors?
What do you see?
Does it, perhaps, involve sweaty palms and a clumsy tongue?
Eyes cast downward and body twitchy?
Now, much less taxing, think back to the most RECENT encounter you've had with a woman.
Your mom doesn't count.
What was it like?
Was it similar to your first in any way?
Did you get jittery, even if only for a second?
Did you TALK to her while nervous?
That ain't good.
The problem with nerves
We ALL get nervous occasionally - usually in a nice simple relationship to our experience and her attractiveness.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that nervousness isn't a good thing - in fact, it's about the WORST thing you can carry into a pick-up. Any chance of being thought of as confident or together is gone, instantly.
Now, dealing with it isn't as easy as realizing it's a problem.
Now the REAL nut is, nerves aren't the only thing you have to worry about.
Playing the game?
Lots of guys have come up with their own ways to push the nerves to the side - whether it's putting on a different persona, psyching themselves up, getting into a war mentality or what-have-you.
True, this works a little better than the big stutter - since atleast you're making contact.
But also true, if you are acting differently from your normal,non-flirting self, a woman will know it.
And unless you've got an indiscriminately randy lady on your hands,that false front is ALWAYS going to cause problems.
That's why it ain't enough to simply be RELAXED, you've also got to be NATURAL.
The biggest key, of course, is defeating your nerves.
One of the BEST methods I've found is through a little self-guided meditation.
I'm not going to give away all my secrets, BUT I can tell you the basics.
Once you've got yourself in the right state, you call up both your nervous emotions, and then your positive relaxed ones.
Then, you CONSUME your negative thoughts with your positive ones.
The result is, whenever you start to get those butterflies, you've conditioned yourself to call up POSITIVE RELAXED states.
Now, that might seem like the toughest part, and indeed, for you it might be.
Lose the mask
But if you've developed a player mode to help get rid of your flutters, than deprogramming this damaging behavior might take even more time.
Why? Because, in comparison to your earlier attempts, it's done the job. Sure, it actually hurts in the larger scheme, but you're used to thinking of it as something that works (albeit in a scattershot way).
When you encounter a stumbling block, you're going to be REALLY tempted to revert.
You've created a comfort around this persona, and UNLESS you concentrate, your head is going to keep returning to it.
Unlike with nerves, which has NEVER had any positive reinforcement.
So now, let's work on CONVINCING yourself that a NATURAL approach is the way to go.
Role-play time... don't enjoy it TOO much
Say you're a woman.
Alright, stop fondling your breasts and get serious.
Two guys come up to you, identical in nearly every way.
The only difference is, one seems to be living his life, while the other seems to be chasing you.
Which one are you more likely to be attracted to?
Yeah, whenever you put on your player mask, you are telling the woman you WANT HER. BAD.
You create a chase scenario - with you as the pursuer.
It's human nature to run when you're being chased.
What's more, there's none of that sparkling mystery involved. You want her, so she can have you whenever she feels like it. Simple as that.
Compare this to the same dude, just as cool, just as charming, but he isn't chasing you.
He's fun without forcing it, and doesn't have an ulterior motive.
He is who he is.
Not to mention, there's a good bit of intrigue.
Make her think... and WORK for your attention. Don't give it away.
'I mean,' the female you thinks, 'most guys throw themselves at me.But not this one, I wonder if he's even interested? I wonder if I can GET him interested?'
You don't have to watch a lot of teen flicks to know guys prefer the unreachable lady, and ladies reject guys who obviously worship them.
In the movies often the guys and gals end up with the one they're 'supposed' to be with and not the one who's out of reach.
That's not usually the way it REALLY works, though.
And even in the movies the unreachable bitchy hottie needs to BECOME reachable before she's rejected.
As long as she's out of reach - or thought of that way - she's more alluring.
And it works the same way with ladies.
Put on your player face, and you are COMPLETELY reachable. And where's the fun in that?
Again, saying it's good to be natural and actually ACTING naturally around hot women is a very different thing.