Thursday, April 10, 2008

Have You Ever Gotten Your Heart Broken?

today, I want to talk aboutthat four-letter-word that strikes fearinto the hearts of men.
Love is one of the most powerful emotions on the planet. We all strive to experience love during our lifetime, and we really want to find a great woman who will make us feel incredible.
The desire to experience love can be so overwhelming, that often times men RUSH into it, only to be hurt later on.
A study done in the 1980s revealed that 90% of all relationships are ended by women. This means that 90% of men who've been in relationships have, at one time or another, had their hearts broken.
And when this happens, it can be a painful, gut-wrenching process. Anyone who's ever been dumped can tell you this.
Because of that, many men try and safeguard themselves by shutting down emotionally. They can still feel attraction and lust for women, but their hearts are always guarded to try and keep themselves from experiencing that hurt of being dumped again.
Women love to complain that men are never "in touch" with their feelings, and that they tend to be "emotionally distant" in relationships. But when a guy is trying to keep from getting hurt, it's pretty hard to open themselves up to their partner.
So this presents us with a problem.
Falling in love too quickly opens yourself up to the possibility of being hurt. But never allowing yourself to experience love for your
partner can sabotage your relationships.
So what's a guy to do?
The answer to this is to keep your guard up early on, and then after the relationship is established, allow yourself to open up.
If you are so scared of being hurt, that you never allow yourself to experience the joy of being in love with a great woman, you are doing
yourself a great disservice.
Guy's need to be able to allow themselves to open up to their partners.
The problem is that too many guys do this TOO EARLY.
They meet a girl they like, they begin to imagine being with her, get themselves all worked up about actually believing they are "in love" - even before they've gone on the first date!
Then, the girl gets weirded out because she is no where near as familiar with the idea of being "in love" with the guy, as he is with her, and she REJECTS him.
And then the guy gets hurt, and becomes miserable.
To avoid this situation, you have to learn the process of creating trust and comfort around women BEFORE you allow yourself to fall in
love with them.
You can like a girl as much as you want, but you must keep reminding yourself not to get too attached until she's proven she feels the
same way about you.
Keeping a girl at arm's distance early on helps you to screen her. It helps you see if she's the type of person YOU really want to be
It helps to guard your emotions so you don't get hurt. But more than that, it gives you the time needed to start forming genuine bonds and emotional connections with the girl.
Once those emotional connections begin to form and strengthen, the girl will begin to open up to you. At this point, you can allow
yourself to open up to her as well, and give yourself permission to fall in love if the girl is the one for you.
Is there a risk you might still get hurt and rejected? Sure. That risk will ALWAYS be there.
But the risk is greatly LESSENED when you ease into the situation, and actually DO THE WORK to form a strong relationship, as opposed to
rushing in already pronouncing your undying love for the woman.
Remember - the key isn't that you SHOULDN'T fall in love. It's that you shouldn't fall in love too soon!

Joseph Matthews


  1. umm quite interesting..I'll like to read this post by replacing "guy" wherever I see "girl" and vice

    I am quite unsure about the statistics of 90% of of all relationships being ended by women..then again that was in the 80's..and I am sure things have changed...and even if the numbers are accurate, im sure the guys pushed the women to break up with them. at least thats what most guys do now, they push the girl to the wall until she cant take it anymore so they wont be responsible for the breakup or breaking of heart. IMO

  2. point taken...
    me think the lady breaks the guys heart in a "snap" not caring about how he feels...
    this, the guy takes with him into the new relationship, in which he feels its hurt or be hurt...
    so, the articles just saying to the guys, dont think you'll be hurt before you are