So many guys think you can improve your sexual quality by learning
all sorts of special techniques. Sure, those are nice - but they're
closer to window dressing than the heart of the matter. What you
REALLY need to do is engage her brain, activate her fantasies - and
become that which TRULY turns her on.
You'll like this exercise
I want you to close your eyes. I want you to close your eyes and
continue reading through squinty eyelids that you shut whenever you
get enough info to run with it.
Now, I want you to think of the HOTTEST image you can.
It can be something you've done, something you've seen done, or
just something you've dreamt of doing.
Paint the full picture. Really let yourself go, get randy, get to
the point where it's tough to just sit there without doing
something ABOUT this amazing fantasy.
Once you've gotten the picture firmly in your head and you've, uh,
concluded it, take a few moments to reflect.
What was it about the fantasy that turned you on?
It's not the size of the wave, OR the motion of the ocean?
Now I don't claim to have ANY idea what you personally find
exciting, but I'm prepared to make a few generalities that will
almost CERTAINLY apply.
It might have been location-specific, or person-specific, or
But it wasn't technique-specific.
What I mean by this is, you might have been on a secluded beach
with three other ladies lapping at you - but you weren't concerned
with the exact motion of the flicks of their tongues (even if you
know it through vivid imagination).
If you were making out, it might have been the EXCITEMENT of doing
it in a hotel pool with lots of balconies around - but not the
pattern of suction she applied to your lips.
Or if you were eating sushi off some naked Asian beauty, it was the
fact that you were EATING SUSHI OFF SOME NAKED ASIAN BEAUTY, and
didn't have much to do with how you held the chopsticks.
Where are we going here?
Technique isn't important. Ok, it's important - but only in a
secondary kind of way.
You've been duped too long!
'Wait,' you think, 'What about Susie Q. who did this thing it drove
me wild, that was technique!'
Yeah, that can happen. But only when you already LIKE someone, for
the most part. Susie Q. already got you excited - so you were
LOOKING for something to turn you wild. You were just helping her
Now, there are rare instances of a woman who has such AMAZING
technique that she'll keep her men around just for that.
But trust me, those are EXTREMELY rare instances, both because of
the skill necessary and because, well, most men need something MORE
than the pure physical pleasure of pleasing touches.
Don't get me wrong, the pleasing touches are wonderful - they just
can't do the job alone.
Now, bearing in mind what it is that REALLY turns men on, remember
this - for women, it's even MORE about the fantasy and LESS the
Up to ten times more, in some cases.
And what is it that most books or programs try to teach a man to
help his sex life?
Hey, it can be handy to know the 1 o'clock hot spot or the Frisbee
hold... in the same way it can be handy to know where the salad fork
These things can help make an event that much more special, but if
you can't COOK, they don't mean much.
So, sexually, how do you COOK?
Simple. You've got to plug into your lady's brain.
Engage her mind, find out and then ACT OUT her fantasies. Don't
worry so much about stroke order until you've mastered the more
ephemeral parts of sex.
And how do you do that?
If I had to sum it up in two words, I'd say Inner Confidence.
You need to be so COMFORTABLE in your sexual skin that you RELAX
her. So OPEN and at ease that you bypass her nerves and shyness
(and most women - even gregarious ones - are shy when you get to
You need to make her feel ok being open and vulnerable with you.
And you do that not through cooing and being a girlie-man - but by
being open and confident and completely natural about everything.
And then you need to LEAD her.
If her comfort and trust are what open the door, you've gotta take
her hand and help her through it.
Think about it - you can NEVER achieve this sort of openness and
freedom with another spontaneously or just because you WANT to - it
MUST be actively brought out by your partner.
And then, once you've got access to her fantasies, start making
them come TRUE. Trust me, if you truly get in her head, you can
make a woman orgasm without even TOUCHING her.
And if you've got a lady having that much fun, she's going to
INSIST on sharing the pleasure.
So now you know WHAT to do - the question is HOW?
Where's that recipe?
The answer is from WITHIN yourself. This is entirely an