thursday 290508 (Listen)

...it's just that very few people ever
learn to rely on it and properly listen to it.

What is this???

It's your intuition or "gut feeling" about something. Using your
"visceral thinking".

Everyone has an intuition... but some people's intuition and knack
for "visceral thinking" is far more developed because they don't
allow other urges or impulses to get in the way.

When you're dating, meeting people, or in a relationship, your
intuition is highly important.

Last night, on Sunday evening, a good male friend of mine stopped
by for a glass of wine. This man is personally successful, though
not necessarily financially successful-- but he is a character,
fun, and extremely self-aware and emotionally developed.

He was telling me about a woman he'd met and been on a couple of
dates with. They had gone out the night before, on Saturday. He
described her as being highly attractive, tall, thin, bubbly,
enthusiastic, with a loud, obnoxious laugh. He said that she owns a
small clothing boutique for women & children. But he said that from
the very first time he met her that something "just wasn't right".

Here is what he said: "I just couldn't help but think her need to
always present herself and be over the top, and her loud obnoxious
laugh is covering up for something. I just kept thinking that
something wasn't right. I had an awkward feeling around her."

Sure enough, when they went out on Saturday, she admitted several
things to him... She's been married twice, though she originally told
him she'd never been married. She cheated on her first husband--
and the man she cheated on him with she ended up marrying and that
was her second husband. She has a child with the first husband--
she originally told my friend that she didn't have any children.
Her husband has full custody of the child. She is running a decent
business, but her life is in shambles... it's apparent she drinks too
much, spends above her means, and parties too often and hasn't
gotten her life together.

She admitted these things to my friend when she had far too much to
drink and was crying and spilling her guts about how "awful her
life is".

None of these things came as that great of a shock to my friend.
Why? Because he already knew something wasn't right. Because he
knew something wasn't right, he had NOT been intimate with her, he
hadn't gotten his hopes up, and he already knew that she wasn't the
one for him.

He was going out with her to have fun, enjoy life, and have a few
laughs. He wasn't expecting anything or wanting anything... And this
revelation didn't come as any surprise.

He made sure she got home safely, told her goodbye, and knew he
wouldn't ever go out with her again.

He wasn't discouraged, because he knows that there are great women
out there and he will find one.

He wasn't disappointed because he already knew "something wasn't
right" and because of that he hadn't gotten his hopes up or thought
something might work out between them.

He hadn't been intimate with her or had done anything that he (or
she) would regret.

He could walk away from her calmly, rationally, optimistically, and
in a positive frame of mind because he listened to his intuition
from the get-go and he didn't let his desires, sexual impulses or
wishes, or hopes get in the way. He also is confident enough to
know that he can attract a great woman, that there are wonderful
women on this planet, and that he will find his special someone.

When you listen to your "gut feeling" and you have the confidence
and security to walk away from someone who "just isn't right"...
dating and relationships become a lot easier.



Shelley