Have you gone out with more than one bad boy in the last year? Are you in an on-again off-again relationship with a bad boy? If so, you may have a bad-boy habit that needs to be broken.
Set yourself free from that bad boy with these five steps:
1. Write a list of all the bad things he has done to you.
Women tend to get short memories when it comes to all the terrible ways bad boys treat them. They don't want to think about it. But if you decide to break the bad-boy habit, you need to force yourself to think about it! Write down a list of all the downright mean things he has done to you.If he cheated on you and lied about it, write it down. If he stayed out until 3 a.m. without calling you, write it down. If he stayed out until 3 a.m. without calling you, write it down. Anytime he made you cry, write it down. Here is the best part -- put the list up on the wall next to a picture of him, so you associate his face with all the awful things he has done to you. He doesn't seem so attractive now, does he?
2. Stop having sex with him.
A lot of times women will keep bad boys in their life way too long. This prevents you from meeting other people. And if you do meet someone else, you are not going to give him a fair shot. By continuing to have sex with the bad boy, you are prolonging the chemistry you feel for him. And then you wonder why you don't feel attracted to the nice guy who just asked you out. It's because you've got all your hormones wrapped up in Mr. Bad.
3. Realize that nice isn't boring.
Nice guys often get the label of being boring, and the problem is it's not true! The truth is that the bad boys are the boring ones because they are so predictably bad. The truth is that the bad boys are the boring ones because they are so predictably bad. It's easy to predict that if you get back together with him for the third time, he is going to flirt with other women right in front of you. It's easy to predict that he is going to make you feel unattractive and miserable in a day or two. There are no surprises in this type of relationship. Yet, the nice guy is liable to surprise you with a DVD of your favorite movie when you are sick or a fabulous compliment when you are feeling down. Now, that's exciting!
4. Ask yourself why you keep going for the bad-boy type.
If you keep allowing yourself to get involved with bad boys, there is a reason and you need to start to dig deep for it. Maybe you have become addicted to drama. Maybe there is abuse in your background so you keep going toward what is familiar to you. Maybe there is abuse in your background so you keep going toward what is familiar to you. Maybe you are not sure what the qualities are that you should be looking for in a man. Take time to self-reflect about it, educate yourself about it, and think about seeing a therapist to help you along the way.
5. Remember bad boys really are bad!
For some women, the idea of the bad-boy type has an allure. For a split second it may seem sexy and fun. What they don't realize is that bad boys are going to treat you bad and it's not sexy or fun! There is a big difference between the bad-boy fantasy and the reality of having a relationship with one. The actual relationships are harsh and mean and they don't change. Stop falling for the fantasy. Instead, fall for a real, good guy!
Caroline Presno, Ed.D., P.C.C., the "Date Doctor," is a psychotherapist and author of "Profiling Your Date: A Smart Woman's Guide to Evaluating a Man." Find her online at ProfilingYourDate.com.