Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Where The Millionaires Date Online

visited this sites too...omo the networth of the folks here...
whew...

Wendy Tanaka

MillionaireMatch.com
San Jose, Calif.

A Silicon Valley entrepreneur founded this site based on his own life: He spent so much time working, he had no free time to hang out in clubs and bars to meet other singles. The site currently has 1 million members. To prove they have a high net worth, some members send the site their W2 forms. CEOs, celebrities and major sports figures are members. Actor Charlie Sheen was a member in 2006.

Sugardaddie.com
Miami

A former Wall Street commodities trader founded this site in 2002. It has 250,000 members, which include CEOs and Playboy models. Men generally have incomes of $100,000 or more. Women outnumber men 8-to-1 on the site.



True.com
Dallas, Texas

If you're concerned about safety in online dating, True.com might be the service for you. The site screens members and kicks out folks with criminal backgrounds and married people pretending to be single. To "keep out scammers," the site only accepts members with e-mail addresses in the U.S., Canada, the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand and Mexico. True.com says it has more than 20 million members with a median age of 35.

PlentyofFish.com
Vancouver, Canada

Founder Markus Frind operates this dating site out of his house, and membership is free. "The PlentyofFish mission is to cut the crap and do the work for singles who want to meet without shelling out hundreds of dollars for services that should be free," according to the site's fact sheet. The site also says 250,000 to 300,000 users log in daily.


Spark Networks
Beverly Hills, Calif.

Spark owns 30 special-interest dating sites, including JDate.com, BlackSingles.com and ChristianMingle.com. The U.S. sites averaged 2.8 million unique visitors per month in 2006. Spark, founded in 1997, went public in 2006 under the ticker symbol LOV.


Gay.com
San Francisco, Calif.

Gay.com is the dating site of PlanetOut, a media and entertainment company that focuses on interests and issues in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. Gay.com says 1.8 million people visited the site in December.


Meetic
Paris, France

Founded in 2001, Meetic says "tens of millions of singles from more than 20 countries have created profiles on our Web site." Countries covered include Austria, Belgium, the Netherlands, Poland, Portugal and Sweden. Meetic began listing on the Euronext exchange in 2005.


Be2
Hunenburg, Switzerland

Be2 is the European equivalent to eHarmony in the U.S. Like eHarmony, be2 administers online personality tests to match singles. Be2 says it has 5 million users in 20 countries, including Finland, France, Germany, Italy, Russia, Spain, the U.K and the U.S.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

tuesday 27/05-08 (more about me)

ONE WORD ANSWERS: PLEASE STICK TO ONE WORD OR HYPHENATED ONES... IT'S THE WHOLE IDEA. :-)

1. Yourself: Nice

2. Your partner: None

3. Your hair: Low

4. Your mother: Worry

5. Your father: Soilder

6. Your favorite item: Laptop

7. Your dream last night: Wealth

8. Your favorite drink: Viju

9. Your dream car: Freelander

10. The room you are in: Quiet

11. Your ex: Crazy

12. Your fear: dying

13. What you want to be in 10 years: Successful

14. Who you hung out with last night: Nobody

15. What you're not: Racist

16. Muffins: what?

17: One of your wish list items: Apartment

18: Time: Racing

19. The last thing you did: Typed

20. What you are wearing: Trousers

21. Your favorite weather: Sunny

22. Your favorite book: Quran

23. The last thing you ate: Eba

24. Your life: Exciting

25. Your mood: Thoughtful

26. Your best friend: None

27. What you're thinking about right now: Post

28. Your car: None

29. What you are doing at the moment: Typing

30. Your summer: Next

31. Your relationship status: Single

32. What is on your TV: Next

33. What is the weather like: Cloudy

34. When was the last time you laughed: Earlier



LITTLE KNOWN FACTS:

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Customarily in Yorubaland,if you're a twin, you're kehinde...if you're the guy that comes screaming out after the first one...ironically i sent her out to the world to see hows it at....lol

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Been a while,i felt i wasnt making headway in my life and i cried...

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
Yeah

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT
I like Snails

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Yeah...in my other life...i exist in another galaxy where i'm the president...lol

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Definately...if not, your loss...

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM ALOT?
Yeah...often with a smile

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS
Whats that?

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
In a second...its on my bucket list

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Golden morn...i crunch it...its tastless with water

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Yeah

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Yeah...not physically though...i've got the brains...and i dare alot

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Chocolate

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
The fingernails

15. RED OR PINK?
Pink

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My teeth...often aches me...its also the most sensitive part of my body

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST
Cant remember her name now

18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Stripped blackand white pants and black boots

19. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
I said eba...kilode

20. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW ?
With you...by Chris Brown

21. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Pink

22. FAVORITE SMELLS ?
Body of my favourite

23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Guy in computer village

24. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Used to be soccer...but now formula one

25. HAIR COLOR?
Black

26. EYE COLOR?
Black

27. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
N...o....No

28. FAVORITE FOOD ?
Beans with dodo and fried eggs

29. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Scary movies

30. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Alvin and the chipmunks

31. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
White

32. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer

33. HUGS OR KISSES?
Definately kisses

34. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Chocolate Cake

35. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
The four hour work week by tim ferris

36. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I'm using a book

37. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
The second chance

38. FAVORITE SOUND?
Close of work siren

39. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles

40. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME
Idanre

41. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT
Yeah

42. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Ijebu ode

conversations with a babe 2 (zephi)

this is the second in the series...and i humbly present Zephi

For Conversations one:
Conversations with a Babe

For Conversations Three:
Conversations With A Babe 3 (OK)

[13:29] 18andabove: wat do u think i shd do?
[13:29] 18andabove: theres this chick really tripping for me but doent no ow to tell me...
[13:29] 18andabove: and she has a 8yr old son
[13:30] 18andabove: u see we used to date....b4 she became pregnant years ago...
[13:31] 18andabove: so how do i tell her or show her that am not interested
Zephi: hey single mothers need love too..lol…I am kidding..Well I suggest you tell her upfront..like “hey, I suggest we just stay friends’…Its better you tell her earlier before he feeling get stronger and stronger…She will get over the hurt after a while
[13:36] 18andabove:wld u date someone that has a 8 yr old son?
Zephi: I highly doubt that..but hey, you know what they say about “love”…whatever that means
[13:41] 18andabove: ow do I tell a gal off?
Zephi: off now..lol
[13:46] 18andabove: one of u called me a small boy yesterday when i said i wanted to ask her out
[13:47] 18andabove: so how do u change that impression when thats already how she thinks?
Zephi: um..I am not aware of thi story
[13:53] 18andabove: ok...i,ve u called someone a small boy b4? or looked at them that way?
Zephi: I prolly have especially since they were acting like one

[14:24] 18andabove: BUT ITS REALLY NOT EASY FOR US WORKING CLASS TO MEET SOMEONE ABI?
Zephi: not my views..well maybe..im not a working class so I wont know
[14:40] 18andabove: APART FROM WEDDINGS WERE IS IT SURE BANKER THAT U CAN GET A SINGLE BABE
Zephi: in the mall, on the street..anywhere…there are babes everywhere…ones has to have enough “game” to approach a girl anywhere…confidence as well

[10:34] 18andabove: so apart from watching tv, what does a girl...sorry lady like u do, when u come back from work
Zephi: browse the internet, eat and be depressed
[10:39] 18andabove: i thought u'd say "start getting ready for a date"
Zephi: Na, I don’t do dates
[10:44] 18andabove: so lets say u were going for one, what preparations wld u make?
Zephi: Iguess, I’ll make sure I look presentable and not to scruffy
[10:57] 18andabove: ok...so wld u want to go where he likes, or where u like
Zeph:Hell, I am self centered so it’ll have to be where I want
[11:00] 18andabove: where wld ur own ideal location be?
Zephi: Bowling, in the park or nice resturant
[11:01] 18andabove: ok..so he's car,a cab,a bus or u guys trek...lol
Zephi: lmao…..I have a car, so if he does not we can use my ride….he’ll just be my bitch
[12:28] 18andabove: lol...sha where were we b4....emm...okay so in what direction wld u want the conversation to go...when u guys are talking
Zephi: Whatever we are talking about, I hope he does not bore me out..thats all..I pretty versatile.. so I’ll talk about any and every
[12:30] 18andabove: SO WHAT WLD BE A CONVERSATION KILLER
Zephi: talk about sex with me especially if I am not that sexually attracted to my date…I’ll feel offended that he could not read that, I wont even touch his lips with a nine inch pole
[12:39] 18andabove: SO WLD A KISS ON THE 1ST NIGHT BE IN ORDER?
Zephi: depends on how horny I am and how sexy this fella is
[12:44] 18andabove: OKAY SO IF HE MADE AN ATTEMPT,HE'D PROBABLY GET A SLAP...LOL
Zephi: well not reallly, depends on if the chemistry is at its peak…If he tries and there is no chemistry, best belive he will get a slap…lol
[12:48] 18andabove: OK...BUT YOU'LL BE EXPECTING HE'S CALL AFTER THE DATE ABI?
Zephi: I could care less….
[12:54] 18andabove: SO WHEN IS THE CALLING TO EARLY OR TOO LATE...
Zephi: If I like the person and they don’t call me, I prolly will calll..If they act cold, I’ll stop calling and move on
[13:01] 18andabove: WLD U EVER CALL A GUY U LIKE AS IN AFTER THE
DATE?
Zephi: refer to above answe
[13:03] 18andabove: I THOUGHT IF HE WAS INTERESTED IN A FOLLOW UP DATE HE'D CALL?
Zephi: you know theses day guys are becoming pussy and girls are slowly taking over their roles


[14:54] 18andabove: come to think of it...what do u look out for when a guy approaches u...
Zephi: he has to dress daper and lawd his lips beter be sexy
[14:57] 18andabove: so if its a short person like me...u'll just give me ur best snubish look...lol
Zephi: you just have to be taller than me
[15:10] 18andabove: ok...wld u go out on a date with anyone that asks u?
Zephi: err no
[15:11] 18andabove: why?
Zephi: cos I cant go out with everyone who asks me..If I do that, I wont be home every nite…lol
[15:13] 18andabove: sorry am getting ahead of myself...
[15:14] 18andabove: the question wld be..u're looking at this tall,dark and handsome guy...speaking good english....comfortable...
[15:14] 18andabove: he asks u for a date & u say no....somethings definately wrong...lol
Zephi: his breathe prolly stinks
[15:38] 18andabove: lol...so like ow many guys ask u out everyday...dont exagerate o...
[15:42] 18andabove: okay lets say a week...
Zephi: it depends…some days no body looks at my face…..and some weeks there on me like ants on sugar…and the days when I get such attentiion, im usually in my laid back mood not trying to impress anybody
[16:34] 18andabove: did u know that...the average single person goes on 22 dates, has 3 one-night-stands and three serious relationships before "settling down with The One."
Zephi: I am definitely not part of that statistic
[16:38] 18andabove: wld u ask someone to marry u...
Zephi: I don’t think I wanna get married
[16:39] 18andabove: that wld be too much abi...lol
[16:39] 18andabove: the height of desperation
[16:40] 18andabove: whats the significance of a kiss to u...?
Zephi: its just a kiss..exchange os saliva..it has no significance
[16:41] 18andabove: oh u told me b4...which is more intimate...the kiss or the other thing...lol
Zephi: None
[16:46] 18andabove: so what 1st comes to ur mind when a guy invites u to his place
Zephi: if it’s the first date..I prolly think he wants to fuck…well then it might be a good thing if I want to fuck too

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Don't Be Gay

Today, I am going to talk about something that
I consider to be a serious problem when it
comes to succeeding with women.

GAYNESS.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have nothing against
gay people.

However - I do have a problem with normal guys
resorting to being something they're not just
because they think it will help them get girls.

Why?

Because usually, this type of behavior does more
HARM than anything else.

There are guys out there who make these
types of mistakes with girls...

1. Through no fault of their own, they
come off as "gay" around women, and find
it difficult to convince girls they are
actually straight.

2. They purposefully act gay, because they
for some reason they think that girls will
respond better to them this way.

3. They are afraid they might be gay because
they can't seem to get girls to feel attracted
to them and are confused and frustrated because
of it.

4. They have no idea how to get girls
interested in them, so they basically "give up"
and allow themselves to be alone and lonely
instead of taking the time to learn the right
way to get women. (ie: they forsake their
manhood)

Believe it or not, I have even counciled some
students who wished they WERE gay, because they
have had such a difficult time meeting girls,
they would rather face the social stigma of
being a homosexual than deal with women.

But all this can be boiled down to one simple
problem...

Men have NO IDEA how to pick up women!!!!

Really - it's that simple.

Face it - no one ever bothers to train men
in the proper way to meet and pick up on
women.

There are no classes for it.

There is no degree for it.

There is no training for it.

Most guys have to depend on their friends, their
family, and the media for tips on how to get
girls.

And this advice is almost always WRONG.

From this wrong advice comes failure, and
frustration.

And that leads to even more mistakes.

Let me be clear - there is NO SHAME in seeking
help with women. If you're not happy with your
success with the ladies, it's because you are
trying to do it on your own.

Most guys are EMBARRASSED to admit they need help
with girls.

They think if they seek help with their love
life, they are LOSERS.

Because it's supposed to "happen naturally,"
right? It's something your supposed to
automatically know what to do since BIRTH.

Nope. Uh-uh.

Sure, some guys figure it out on their own,
but they are few and far in-between.

Most guys get "lucky," or they rely on good
looks and a fat bank account to get women.

Yet we see them as having some type of "secret
information" about women that we don't.

We think there must be something WRONG with us
because we have a hard time getting a girl.

But there is NOTHING wrong with us, other than
the fact that we haven't yet acquired the
knowledge and experience we need to be successful
with women.

Once I began to really apply myself to learning
everything I could about how to meet, date, and
seduce the fairer sex, what once seemed impossible
to me became much easier.

And it can become easy for you too - IF you allow
yourself to flexibility to learn.

WHAT IS SHE THINKING?

***QUESTION FROM A READER***

Hi Christian,

I wondered if you could help. I was going out
with a guy for 10 years. At the start we were
madly in love, there was passion, security,
everything, although intellectually we were
incompatible. I needed friends and other
contacts which he resented. He became
increasingly jealous and controlling. We lived
together but in February of this year I
moved out. I couldn't stop seeing him entirely.
I was still attached to him. However this
August he came round to my house and after
a particularly ugly display of emotion he
kicked my door. I said I no longer wanted any
contact and kept that up for nearly 3 months.
He was broken hearted and begged me back many
many times. I was as cold as ice and still
resentful as to his behavior previously. Over
time I softened and thought it might be time
to meet up. At the last minute I cancelled
and he went out on a pub crawl. Overnight his
attitude changed!!!! He met someone else who
he has been seeing for the last 3 weekends
(even though he hates to admit it). I
knew straight away. Now it is me who is
heartbroken. I feel that life has come back
and kicked me in the teeth and I want
him back. I miss him. However after trying
to see him and getting replies like he needs
'space' I have decided to cut all contact
again. What can I do? Will he come back? Or
has he just met a newer model and in fact his
feelings for me were superficial?

***MY RESPONSE***

I've got to be honest with you.

I cringed as I read several things here...
and the only thing running through my head was,
"WHAT IS SHE THINKING!?!?"

Do me a favor-

Take a deep breath... center yourself for
a minute... make sure you're sitting up straight
and paying attention... and go ahead and give
yourself a good hard SLAP!

OK. Now that you know how much this hurts
and how dumb this is to do to yourself... I want
you to go ahead and do it again.

Seriously.

Give yourself one more good hard SLAP across
the face.

Now, in case you don't get it yet, this is
exactly what you're doing to yourself in your
love life right now.

By slapping yourself, you've just PHYSICALLY
experienced what it is that you're doing to
yourself EMOTIONALLY in your love life.

Get it!?

Good.

Hopefully now you'll start to wake up to
what you're doing to yourself here.

But let's get on to WHAT TO DO.

There's a very complex and sophisticated
"technique" I'm going to show you that you need
to use in your situation...

Pay close attention here, because this one
is tricky. Too tricky for lots of women.

Ready?

Here's the complex technique I want you to
use in your situation-

MOVE ON!

For anyone else who was seeing things clearly
and thinking about what would actually work in
their love life... moving on would be pretty
simple and straightforward.

But not for you.

And yeah, I get that breakups and moving
on isn't as easy as 1, 2, 3. It can take time
for you to move past your old feelings.

But clinging to your old feelings and your
false ideals of how things were in the past, and
trying to get back there is only leading to your
own SUFFERING, and taking you back to a place that
you honestly don't want to be.

Here's the thing...

It's painfully obvious, and any old "pop
psychologist" could tell you, that as soon as
this guy stopped pursuing you, you wanted him
back.

But that's actually NOT the REAL TRUTH here.

The real truth is that as soon as a man isn't
pursuing you, you of course want the ATTENTION
back.

But more importantly, you want the strange
comfort that comes from having ANY MAN around that
you believe has the POTENTIAL to be a good man
and "make you happy" (instead of insisting on a
man who is actually a good man).

I'm getting pretty deep here, so I'll get to
the point.

If you were honest with yourself, you'd
realize that you're NOT concerned with wanting
this particular guy back.

No. Instead, you want him back at your
doorstep in the hopes of AVOIDING something else
you know in the back of your mind would be far
worse for you than being back in your old
relationship that didn't work in the first place.

Something that makes you feel 50 times more
fearful and uncomfortable than not getting this
particular man back into your life.

And that certain something is BEING ALONE.

Think about it for a minute...

I want you to step back from everything going
on around you and in your love life right now.

And I want you to get in touch with what's
going on for YOU, instead of what's going on
with the man in your life.

Now answer a simple question for me-

Answering honestly, how many of the things
that you do, or the things that you've chosen
for yourself when it comes to men and
relationships, stems from your own personal
fear of being alone?

Take a minute to think this through.

This could be a huge moment for you right
now... so open your mind up and take a good
hard look.

I'll give you a few minutes to think about
this.

...

...

Ok, good.

Now, did you see anything new that you didn't
recognize about yourself before?

Take out a pen and a piece of paper right
now and write down what you just learned or
identified about yourself.

To compare notes now, let me share some
common things women do to avoid their fear of
being single or alone...

-Dating "Unavailable Men": This one is common
but counterintuitive to understand. Lots of women
who are afraid of being alone end up picking the
same kind of men over and over who just don't
"get it" and don't show up emotionally in
relationships. Of course, if you do this, at
the root of the problem is YOU. You don't believe
in your ability to meet a REAL MAN, or to have
a REAL relationship... so you take what comes
along (anything) and try to make the situation,
and the man, into something more than it is.

-Accepting "Unacceptable" Behavior From Men: If
you're a woman who's afraid of being alone more
than you are of being in a BAD, NEGATIVE, HURTFUL
RELATIONSHIP... then guess what you're likely to
end up with? That's right... a bad relationship.

-Acting "Needy": When you are afraid of being
alone, or living independently, men can quickly
sense this inside you... even if you don't ever
say it. You send off a kind of "vibe" or "energy"
when you get close to a man. Usually this looks,
in part, like clingy or needy behavior. And guess
what? This is 100% Grade A Man-Repellent if
you are looking to ATTRACT a man and build the
foundation for a lasting relationship.

be what she says

We've been talking a good deal lately about being an "attractive
character". Not too long ago I also discussed the importance of
presenting an "interesting lifestyle" to women, verses an "ordinary
lifestyle". In that discussion, I pointed out these key aspects you
want to demonstrate to a woman:

Be intriguing-- not boring.
Be interesting-- not typical.
Be lighthearted-- not stressed.
Be relaxed-- not uptight.
Dress with a unique, personal style-- not like every other man.
Talk cheerfully & optimistically-- not like you should be on
suicide watch.
Be funny-- not depressing.

Enjoy life. When you enjoy life, you will be more relaxed,
confident, secure, and happy... and those are some of the TOP things
a woman looks for in a man & will attract women to YOU!

This morning I am going to add something to this list.... Something
very important. And that is:

Be open to what a woman says- not closed-off.

I'm going to demonstrate this by telling a quick story... This is one
of those "pathetically funny" stories...

You know the old joke that women say is that "men never listen".
And, unfortunately, sometimes it holds true. Not only does it
occasionally hold true... but sometimes it also comes as the demise
to the man who's attracted to the woman he's speaking with-- but
won't truly listen to.

The reason he can't listen? Because he doesn't know what to listen
for. It goes right over his head.

Here's the story I want to tell...

A few years ago I was at a fundraiser. There was a nice, formal,
sit down dinner, followed by cocktails, music, and dancing. Me and
several friends (a mix of men & women) had a table at the event.

One of my male friends introduced me to a man, that he used to do
some commercial real estate projects with. The man was tall,
muscular, good looking, and as I spoke to him... I realized he was
intelligent, interesting, had traveled the world, had a great mind
for business, and we ended up talking one-on-one for about 30
minutes... we traded stories, laughed, joked around, etc...

I was extremely attracted to him! During our conversation I made
every attempt possible to show my interest & attraction towards
him... even things that I, knowing what I know, never do!! I made
some sexually based jokes, talked about what I do with this "First
in Her Mind" web-site and business, and made every attempt possible
to show that I was open to conversation, interested, and attracted
to him.

Of course.... I wouldn't have gone home and slept with him that
night, no way.... But I was interested in going out with him sometime
and getting to know him better.

Eventually another man came over and needed to discuss something
with the man I had been speaking with, so I drifted away and went
back to the table. I got involved in some other conversations,
enjoyed the music, did some dancing, and then left as the event
winded down.

I figured since the man I had spoken with never came back to find
me, that either he wasn't interested in me or he must have had a
girlfriend or other interest in his life (he didn't have a wedding
band). I had done everything possible to show my openness to talk
and my interest in him.

I didn't think much of it, and soon forgot about the conversation--
and him.

About 4 months after, my male friend who introduced us at the
event gave me a call. He had just finished having a lunch meeting
with this man. He said, "Shelley, he kept asking me about you... He
thinks you're beautiful, but didn't think he would have a shot with
you! He said he never has met a funnier and more personable and
interesting woman... and he hasn't been able to get you out of his
head for 4 months, since he met you!"

I was shaking my head as he told me this.... Why? Because even though
this man had everything going in his favor, he still didn't have
the confidence to think I might be attracted to him-- and he failed
to listen to all of the direct signs I was handing him in our
conversation. I think I could have worn a big, neon sign above my
head that said: "Hey bozo- I'm attracted to you!" and he still
wouldn't have gotten it!

This is the sad part... By the time he had lunch with my male friend
who had introduced us (4 months later), and my friend figured out
how much he liked me, I had already met another man and had been
dating him for about 2 months.

See, this man had 2 big obstacles standing in his way....

1. A lack of confidence-- he literally told my friend that he
didn't think he would have had a shot at me! How pathetic is that???

2. He didn't listen-- I was basically telling him that I was
interested in him, but because he didn't know what to listen for--
he couldn't truly "hear" what I was saying.

So, be open to what a woman says-- not closed off. She may be
standing right in front of you, telling you exactly what you hope
to hear-- but if you aren't open to it and don't know what to
listen for... then you won't hear her!

If you missed yesterday's email discussion, go here:
http://firstinhermind.com/the_interesting_man.htm

monday 19/05/08 (i know i can)

i start my sage pastel training today...but i got to quickly add this

Act, look, dress, and smell like a man-- and attract women because of it!
Good morning...

I want to discuss a subject that I haven't concentrated on much,
but something funny happened yesterday evening & I want to share
it. This isn't the type of subject I usually talk about, but I want
to focus on it this morning...

I ended up going to dinner with several people, it was totally
unplanned. It was with the man that I've been dating, a young
couple that he knows, and 2 other male friends of his. We were all
eating dinner, enjoying some wine, laughing, sharing stories, and
having a great time. We were sitting outside, on this restaurant's
patio, overlooking a sidewalk in a trendier part of town that is
surrounded by hike & bike trails, parks, and restaurants.

There were all sorts of people going up and down the sidewalk.
Before long, a man came by riding his bike and didn't have a shirt
on. He appeared to be fairly good looking in the face and tall,
from what we could tell.... But his back was FULL of thick, dark
brown, hair.

The young woman sitting at the table said, "Oh my gosh... disgusting!
Look at that man's back-- he looks like an animal! Yuck! I'm all
for a little hair on a man, but if a man has that much he should do
something about it!"

In recent years the subject of "manscaping" has been up for debate.
It seems that many modern women (no matter their age) do like SOME
body hair on a man. After all, that is part of being a man... and
women like men who look like, and act like, men.

But it does seem that "too much" body hair turns many women off--
completely.

I've talked to several of my female friends about men who shave
their bodies (a trend that started a few years back). I,
personally, have NEVER heard one woman say that they like a man
completely shaven. Why? Because that takes some of the manliness
away.

Some men seem to forget that they're men... and women who are
searching for a man are searching for just that-- a MAN... and part
of being a "man" is looking like, dressing like, smelling like, and
acting like a man.

At the same time, an influx of body hair (especially a hairy chest
or back) seems to also turn some women off. You do want to remind
her of a man-- and not an animal.

So here's my suggestion... If you're a man who finds himself with
"too much" body hair, some light "manscaping" may be in order. You
do NOT want to go off the deep end though and Nair your body or
make yourself shiny and glossy. There's just something about "shiny
& glossy" that doesn't suggest manliness.... You know... :-)

As a single man trying to attract women or sustain attraction in
that special someone, remember that it's important to be a man.
This includes:
The way you smell.
The way you look.
The way you talk.
The way you groom yourself.
The way you dress.
The way you act.

Sunday 17th may 2008 (A to Z)

Accent – Ijebu
Booze – Stout
Chore I hate – Washing my clothes
Dogs/Cats –Cats that dont shit...lol
Essential electronics – Laptop...connected to the internet
Favourite perfume - Cant remember the name
Gold/silver – None...prefer platinuim
Hometown – ijebu ode
Insomnia – Yeah, wheni have lots of ideas
Job title – Accounts officer/Data Administrator
Kids - Not yet
Living arrangements – Share with my mum
Most admired trait - my smile could melt ice.
Number of sexual partners – Not sure
Overnight hospital stays – Yeah for up to a month...
Phobia - Poverty
Quote – cant remember anyone now.
Religion - Islam
Siblings - 2 half brothers,2 half sisters,2 sisters and a brother
Time I usually awake – 5am,pray,sleep again,then wake fully by 7am...applies only to weekdays
Unusual talent – i can speed read
Vegetable I refuse to eat – none i can think of
Worst habit - surfing d net at work
X-rays – a few....
Yummy foods I make – indomie,dodo,eggsand beef
Zodiac sign – Libra

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Caught on camera: our changing world

A planet in flux, due largely to the actions of its dominant species, Earth has, apparently, reached a tipping point. Some of the hitherto most enchanting spots on the globe are today barely recognisable from what they once were, marred – perhaps permanently – by the recklessness of the human race. Others, where the damage may be less immediately obvious, are balanced precariously atop an environmental time bomb.

Sometimes enlightening, sometimes shocking, snapshots of our rapidly changing world have been captured by some of the world’s most talented press photographers. From toxic rubbish mountains to flooded rice fields, they illustrate what we have lost to climate change – and highlight what it still at stake. To find out more, click on the images in the gallery below.

Children play in a flooded rice field near Jakarta.
In early February 2007, unprecedented rainfall combined with widespread deforestation and inadequate flood defences to create the most devastating floods to swamp the Indonesian capital in more than 300 years. During the deluge, at least 54 people were killed, 70,000 homes were flooded and more than 200,000 people were displaced. Now, more than a year later, some 5,729 people are yet to return – and the legacy of water-borne disease continues to take its human toll.

A bird glides gracefully through the polluted skies above Tehran.
Air pollution in the Iranian capital killed more than 3,600 people in just one month in 2006, an environmental situation described by local officials as “collective suicide.” Considered one of the world’s most polluted places, Tehran’s air is so toxic it triggers lethal respiratory and cardiac problems, with 80% of fatal heart attacks believed to be directly attributable to the noxious smog smothering the city. Half of the six million cars clogging Iran’s streets fail to meet global emissions standards and burn twice as much fuel as their European equivalents, spewing vast quantities of carbon monoxide into residents’ lungs.

A boy plays in a water fountain in Hyderabad, India.
Indian glaciers are among the least studied anywhere, but recent studies show they are melting at an alarming rate. Last year, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change warned that if steps were not taken, incidences of inland droughts and coastal flooding would increase significantly. Glaciologist D P Dobhal, who has been studying Chorabari and Dokriani glaciers in the Garhwal Himalayas since 2003, said they are receding at the rate of 1.5-2 metres every year. “What is worrying is that the glaciers are losing density... largely due to global warming; the snow is melting faster than it can accumulate as ice, thereby thinning the glacier,” he said.

A gumboot sits atop a fencepost on the site of the submerged town of Old Adaminaby in Australia.
The longest “big dry” the country has seen in a century has reduced one of its largest manmade lakes to a dustbowl, exposing the skeletal remains of a town that was deliberately flooded 50 years ago. The savage drought, believed to be caused by climate change, has shrivelled Lake Eucumbene – between Victoria and New South Wales – to a tenth of its normal size. The receding waters have exposed what little is left of the Snowy Mountains farming town evacuated in 1957 to make way for a massive hydro-electricity project promising... near-limitless water.

South Korean soldiers attempt to scrape clean an 11-mile stretch of oil-drenched sand.
A slick black sea engulfed South Korea’s scenic and ecologically rich western coastline in December 2007, when a stricken supertanker sent 10,500 tons of crude oil spewing from its hull. Thick, reeking waves of oil spilled onto the famed Mallipo beach, blackening seagulls and fouling fish farms in the worst environmental disaster in the country’s history.

An environmental activist hands a seedling to a car driver in Surabaya ahead of the UN-led climate change talks in Bali.


A scavenger picks through a sprawling 60ft high rubbish dump – nestled against schools and hospitals – on the Sidon seafront in South Lebanon, south of Beirut.
Ancient Sidouna, one of the most famous names in ancient history, counted among its cultural influences the Egyptian Pharoahs and Ancient Greece. The city’s god, Eshmoun, was associated with the Greek god of healing. Today, Sidon lives in the shadow of this 600,000 cubic metre toxic mountain comprising garbage, soil, concrete debris, hospital waste and the occasional dead animal.

An airbus A380, the world's largest passenger aircraft, skims the roofs of a shantytown as it prepares to land at Mumbai airport.
Daravai is the largest slum in Asia, a sprawling maze of tin huts and open drains that is home to more than 600,000 people. India has announced that the so-called eyesore, which generates £1bn a year through craft workshops, is to be razed and replaced with a new township in a bid to harness the area’s business potential.

A young man drifts lazily in a pond on the outskirts of Jammu in Indian Kashmir.
Choking levels of airborne pollutants forced the state government’s hand two years ago, via a court order to remove thousands of 15-year-old commercial vehicles from the roads. The “herculean task” involved decommissioning 4,814 trucks, 1,152 buses, 580 mini buses, 180 taxis and 613 auto-rickshaws in a bid to cut the amount of toxic emissions being belched into the atmosphere by the region’s ageing vehicles.

Heavy morning fog coils loosely around the soaring skyscrapers in Dubai Marina, one of the world’s largest man-made waterfronts in the heart of the United Arab Emirates.
Accelerating expansion in the UAE has prompted concern about the region’s wildlife: although traditional nature reserves – ‘hema’ – are long-established in the Arabian Peninsula, there is little in the way of legislation to protect areas rich in native flora and fauna, including turtle colonies, from fast-paced commercial development.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Do You End Up As "The Friend?"

Does this situation sound familiar to you?

You meet a girl, and she's really great.
You get to know her, hang out with her,
and try and figure out the right time
to tell her how you feel.

Finally, you work up the courage to do so,
and she responds:

"I like you, but let's just be friends."

D'oh.

Why does this happen? Why does the girl
decide you're not "boyfriend material?"

Well, there are a couple of reasons why
this happens.

The first of which is that you did not set
the stage properly when you first met the
girl.

Instead of flirting and showing interest
in her, you decided to "play it safe" and
"fly under the radar" by pretending you
weren't interested in her so you wouldn't
scare her off.

Lack of any sexual tension will result in
the girl pegging you as a "friend" and
nothing more.

The second is that you most likely adopt
the friend role yourself!

You do things a friend would do - listen
to her problems, be the shoulder to cry
on, be there to support her when she needs
it...

And on, and on, and on.

And guess what? Because of this, she gets
USED to you being this way!

And people do not like to change things.
So when you want to become more than just
a friend, she's afraid to allow that to
happen.

Why?

Well, the first reason is that it's to her
benefit to do so. She gets all she needs
without having to put up with "relationship"
stuff.

She might also be afraid that if she allows
things to change, she might LOSE YOU as a
friend, so she decides to play it safe.

Finally, the biggest reason a guy gets stuck
in the friend zone is because the girl thinks
he's cool, but there's no ATTRACTION there.

There's no desire. No magnetism. No sexual
energy.

So from the girl's point of view, there's no
REASON to change things!

But you have to understand - attraction is
something that can be created. If you have
not attracted the girl, then you're dooming
yourself to just being a friend.

FOREVER.

If you want to make sure you don't get stuck
as the friend, you need to do three things...

1. Be honest about your intentions from the
start.

2. Adopt the "boyfriend" role, not the "friend"
role.

3. Create attraction.

Bizlancer, Inc.
8350 Wilshire Blvd.
Suite 200
Beverly Hills, CA 90211

Monday, May 12, 2008

MONDAY 2008 05 13 (MARY)

arent you going to pray?...that scream brought me back from dreamland...cant remember what it was anyways...the thing about my dreams is that i always win sha...well today, like most mondays, am just to lazy to get off the bed,yes even to pray, she said something that shoke me to my bones sha...my son,in this world, are more people that want you to fail, than those that want you to suceed...does people could even include members of your own family...oro..then go for my prayers then cause i slept back,but i can assure you i was thinking about it in my subconcious,woke up abt an hour or after,she comes in again and she's like,"what if you didnt wake up",dragged myself to the bath...then said my prayers and was on my way to work....


MY FRIENDS,THE PICTURES OF Nkiru Anumudu, the Globe Motors boss, is NOT A GOOD WAY TO START THE DAY O...I WONT SAY MORE THAN THATYES SHE IS A fashionISTA statement. ADMITTEDLY, SHES GOT THE HEIGHT AND THE SHAPE,BUT A LADY CANT HAVE IT ALL,ME THINKS SHE CAN DO BETTER SHA...HER FRIENDS SHOULD DO SOMETHING...AARGH


my oga went on training and am suppossed to go for mine next week,its on our accounting package,we use sage pastel evolution by the way...work, work,work...i would so much like it if my performance or success didnt depend on someone else's activity abi is it possible?


GOT TO GO NOW

Thursday, May 8, 2008

not consiously


to me she'll always be a diva and a non comformist, not like all you chickens and wanna bees out there.





them to resemble dem papa...ah...



kills...literally

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Nice Guys vs. Bad Boys: Who Do You Love?

Whoa... that's pretty intense - I'll tone it
down for a sec and give you something to take your
mind to off this....

Did you see the final Sex and the City episode where
Carrie went to Paris with her lover?

Carrie's in Paris with her boyfriend and begins
to wonder if she made the right decision to move away
with this man who, deep down inside, she know's doesn't
want the same type of life and relationship she does.

As she makes this realization, her ex, "Big",
has flown to Paris from New York looking to reconcile
with his lost love after realizing his undying love
for Carrie.

And of course, as with all good TV, the two find
each other by luck and fate, and Big finally professes
his love.

Talk about romantic, intense, suspenseful and full
of great drama!

Ok, I thought that might do the trick to warm you
back up.

So what does the story of Carrie's love life have to
do with YOUR love life?

More than you might think - but we'll get to that.

That's why this week I'm giving you a short homework
assignment - and this is what could be the most valuable
5 minutes you'll ever spend on your love life:

I need you to think about one of the first things
I recognized about women way back in junior high -
it's something I still see it today in our "grown-up"
dating world.

Why don't women pick the right guys?

Or even more to the point - why do women pick all
the wrong guys?

If you've had your heart broken, been cheated on,
or find yourself giving everything you've got inside,
to get little or nothing in return, then you know what
I'm talking about.

****Right Now****

Take 5 minutes of time to yourself.

Tune the rest of the world out for just these 5 minutes.

Now, think about each of these questions for a minute
or two each:

1. What is it about "bad boys" or men that aren't
"available" that is attractive to w0men? And to you?

2. Have you ever dated a guy even though you knew
he was a "bad boy" - or found out soon into things?

3. Is there a "nice guy" in your life who would make a
great companion but you're not attracted to or share a
"connection" with?

Don't cheat yourself....

Stop, go back, make sure you take at least 5
minutes of time and think about just these questions....

(Trust me - it's AMAZING what you can actually learn
about the world and yourself if you take a few minutes
of silence to think just about ONE THING at a time. It's
maybe the BEST thing I ever started doing for myself!)

I'll give you some more time....

Ok, so you've thought about it. Let's share our
thoughts and compare notes.

*As a quick inside reminder:

This exercise is all about actively improving
your ability to know what a good man looks like
for YOU and to help you pick ONLY the right men now
and in the future.

Picking the wrong men can get you in all kinds of
painful trouble it's hard to get free of.

But for some reason, women don't want the guys who
are probably better relationship and love companions.

I'm not going to give you ALL the answers right now,
but I'm going to lead you to finding the answers for
yourself - as it's a much more effective way of learning.


So.... I'm gonna address the last question first
about "nice guys".

A friend of mine sent me an article that was on AOL
entitled "What's Wrong With Nice Guys?". Here's a little
quote from the article:

"...Do Women Date Naughty Guys but Marry Nice Ones?

This notion sounds an awful lot like the irritating
good-girl/bad-girl distinction that men continue to
make. Still, it does contain a nugget of sense. Since
women truly are conditioned to be "good girls," sometimes
we feel uncomfortable with or guilty about that pure
burning "I must have him!" feeling. That's why we
sometimes seek out a bad boy to serve as the object
of these desires, says Cleveland psychotherapist
Belleruth Naparstek, creator of the Health Journeys
series of guided imagery tapes. "In order for the
deliciousness of pure lust to be 'okay,' it has to be
for the symbolic bad boy who has nothing to do with
the rest of your life. With him, you can crank up your
animal impulses, worry-free," she says...."


Interesting, huh?

My friend who sent it to me disagrees with the
idea that women seek out "bad boys" because they
need somewhere to project their guilty lust, and I agree.

I disagree that there's something "wrong" with
the fact that women are attracted to "bad boys"...

My friend also made the point that the "mainstream"
psychology and behavior world is starting to accept
the idea that women are attracted to "bad boys".

There's something to the idea that woman don't
feel that powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for "nice guys"
who chase after them, dote on them and kiss up to them.

A woman might LIKE the experience of the "nice guy"
doing nice things, but it doesn't CREATE attraction
or a connection with the woman.

Ever.

Trust me, I know men who are the "nice guy" all
the time and they get so frustrated trying so hard
to please a woman and get her interested.

But it's like trying to chew bubble gum to solve
calculus problems.... It's hopeless.

And wouldn't you know it - it works the same
way for "nice women". Being a "nice girl" can't
"convince" a guy to like you just because you do
sweet things....

It just doesn't work like that.

I've had women be the "nice girl" with me in the
past. There's two women I can remember from acting
overly nice and sweet to try and attract me.

Any attraction that was there started falling away.

THE TRUTH of the matter is - kissing up, convincing
and being too "sweet" can kill attraction.

Why?

Our subconscious reacts in ways you often can't
control and aren't very aware of.

Being too "nice" sends a signal to the "deep"
part of the mind that tells you "this person isn't
desirable and is lower status".

I know, this might sound kind of dark, power-hungry
or weird to you, but it's what happens with us humans.

People don't value what they can have too easily,
whether they admit it or not.

Ultimately, when women are around "nice guys",
they end up unconsciously thinking, "This man isn't
desirable, I shouldn't date or pursue this guy".

(Ok, there can be another reason, but I won't
disuss it here but it has to do with people who
develop the "nice" persona due to what they feel
they personally lack, and thus "nice" people are
self-selecting and are actually and less confident
and less attractive.)

In the nice guys defense - they might actually
have something better to offer a woman in terms of
what she SAYS she wants (love, trust, companionship,
passion), but the women aren't able to see it - or
see it as something they want.

Why?

Women don't develop a connection to the nice guy
and the "connection" is the MAGIC ingredient for
attraction with most women.


Which leads us to the "bad boy"!

You might not agree with me, but women DO feel
that magical emotion called ATTRACTION for "bad boys".

Of course, I don't believe that men have to be
jerks, or abuse women in order to make them feel
attracted to them.

But women have a deep attraction mechanism that's
triggered by men who behave indifferent, superior,
cocky, the list goes of "bad" behavior. You've seen it.

"Bad boys" often create inviting and intoxicating
forms of drama - often perceived as playfulness,
sexuality and fun.

When I first talk to women about the bad boy
subject, they jump ALL OVER me and completely disagree.

Then I ask them about some of the relationships
they've had in the past.

And guess what?

Most women realize in the course of the conversation
that they've dated men they knew fit the "bad boy"
profile.

What makes me laugh is that the realization makes
them argue with me even more!

So why do women date and continue on with "bad boys"?

The answer to this question when I ask it to
women is almost UNIVERSAL.

"We had a great connection".

Some women call it "chemistry".

The magic of a connection with a man can be
extremely powerful. Often powerful enough to undo
all sorts of reasoning abilities and ways of perceiving
things.

Women picking and staying with the wrong men is
the single biggest mistake I see women make. It's the
most common reason why the thousands of women I hear
from can't find the love and fulfillment they're
looking for.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

may 1 2008 (feel your stylee)



Ope o,...we won yesterday...but liverpool put up a display,
couldnt even stand from my seat...lol
And i started this month by saying my prayers...Good

happy may day, hope you're at the stadium marching...
used to be lots of fun then but nowadays dont even know if it is celebrated
yeah am suppossed to be out and about abi,
but we had a very sudden call to work today for stock taking,
but as soon as i leave am going to grab a bite at mr biggs...
and my dear friend that counts....in this first five days, we're going to take a big step...we're going to places we dont regularly visit...
you dont have to talk to anyone, just have a good time,even if its like 30mins...honestly you need it...try not to go to a friend's place cause the possibilty that you'll meet new people is very low,and you'll just do the same old things...
and my friend it beats staying at home...
So i leave the office and i get to sweet sensations ilupeju...and i have to wait for 15mins for my bowl of icecream...yes i also have a sweet tooth...lol...15mins,20mins,30mins...no icecream...
met my guy on the anthony bridge that sells books,he's going to holla at me when he gets the four hour work week...s calls and asks if am at home...am to meet him later in the day about the shoes i want to buy....they're 9000 by the way, he says they are italian...thats the highest i,ve ever paid for a pair of shoes...hope they're worth it...
decided against going home, i still want my icecream...lol...so i decide to go to the sweet sensations outlet on opebi...this time around, i dont wait..thank God...so i sit and devour a litre of chocolate flavoured icecream...received a few calls...sexy and f,she says she'll see me at the office tomorrow...hope things work out atleast with her...
so today,i'm outdoors,breaking the mold,changing my habits...but today its easy,i dont have to chat anyone up...my dressing sef wld discourage that...lol...look unkempt,i guess i'd be thrown out if it was a real restaurant...lol...so i sit and observe,there's that lady there...been at the table alone for atleast 30mins now,there's that couple saying sweet nonsence to eash other...a group over their being very loud...did she just look at me,...again...our eyes meet...but i cant move...am not scared or anything...well been an experiment or lab rat for other shy guys out there,i have rules...its the 1st day...am just here to have a good time...if she likes me she'll drop her number in my lap...lol...wishful thinking abi...i stay for about 30 more minutes then leave...
get to them s's place and he wants to see his babe in unilag...been a while since i been there o...
well we get to unilag all the while praying that he's car doesnt stop and we'd need to push it again...something about the carburattor,said a prayer each time,he started the car...he did most of the talking sha...me i was just looking...well till her friend nugded me...sha i had a nice time...and after about 3 hours in unilag i'll tell u that 90% of the girls are fake and dont know what they're in school for;and that women dont like to be passed around by friends or being asked out by the same friends;if you're to close to a guy,i'll say and we'll believe he's going out with you.
thats when i receive the message from sexy,she had lied about two things, how could i believe her again...she says she likes me so much, so into me...yada yada yada...that she feels she shd tell me truth now...well me thinks, i've just been handled a life line...get annoyed, and stay annoyed, ignore her,she'll get the message...this wouldnt work before,would it?
anyways get home and mum's not back...get the ps from s's house and we play in my house...
j, my cousin visits and s cant just stop looking at her...dude,not my cousin...u cant hit on ladies in my family...